On Chick-Fil-A

So, I’m going to say some things that will probably force me to get my Gay Card revoked by the World Gay Authority, but I long ago decided that I didn’t need to be a card-carrying member of “the community” to be happy, fulfilled, and in the company of my boyfriend (even if he did spend my birthday in a tropical locale without me). So, chicken sandwiches.

On my birthday, this past Wednesday, people across America went to Chick-Fil-A to show their “appreciation” of the restaurant. Why? Because this particular fast food grease pit is owned by religious zealots who force the place to be closed on Sundays, and use their profits to support anti-gay organizations. City mayors have thusly banned Chick-Fil-A from opening new restaurants in their cities because they feel the chain is discriminatory. For the record, it is. The “appreciation day” protest was meant to counter this.

The restaurant saw record sales of its diabetes-inducing crapfest food on my birthday. Thanks, religious crazies! Happy birthday to me! In response, the gay community has decided to do a few things. First, they countered the “appreciation day” on Wednesday by dressing up as cows and chickens while holding protest signs and rainbow flags. Then, today, they decided to stage a “kiss-in,” where gay couples go to the restaurant, make out in front of patrons and employees, and leave.

People have said, “you should go do a kiss-in!” Well, first of all, the guy I regularly kiss is 2,000 miles away right now, so that’s out. Secondly, wouldn’t do it anyway. What kind of goodwill does the gay community gain by dressing up in costumes and protesting at a fast food restaurant? What kind of respect do we earn by going to a public place and making out? Wouldn’t we harshly judge anyone — straight or gay — who did this on any other day of the year?

Gays are right to be outraged about this company’s support of anti-gay legislation. There’s no excuse for hateful, discriminatory actions such as those taken by the company’s CEO. But they’re wrong to dress in ridiculous costumes or kiss in public to “show them a thing or two.” The gay community needs to be worried about a much bigger picture: marriage and legal equality in all 50 states and in all of the countries around the world. Some countries still imprison or kill homosexuals, and our American gays are getting their sexy underwear in a knot over a chicken sandwich. Sad.

In a world where hateful religious zealots still perceive gays to be the Slutty Orientation, and in a world where they think gays like to be deliberately disrespectful about their bedroom preferences, this Chick-Fil-A protest proves them all right. They have enough of their own allegedly Biblical reasons to hate us. We don’t need to give them another reason by spoiling their adult onset diabetes today.
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